Our boundaries are all we actually have to verify we’re honoring our personal wants, as a substitute of sacrificing ourselves. Whether or not it is a boundary you set with your self to restrict display time or junk meals, or a boundary you set with one other particular person after they disrespect you, your boundaries are a mirrored image of your individual self-worth, as a result of they reveal what you might be (and are not) keen to tolerate.
As Lark explains, some folks have a very onerous time setting boundaries as a result of their inside protection mechanisms inform them they should cater to others’ wants, sacrifice their very own, and in the end abandon themselves as a way to get approval, validation, or love.
Determining what your boundaries are, and implementing them, then, is a sluggish and regular climb to trusting your self, listening to your individual desires and desires, and figuring out your limits.
Plus, Lark says, when you already know the place your limits are, “It is simpler for us to identify these transgressions and put some kind of ‘fencing’ in place, [and] know what our values are, and the way we wish to reside our lives and make investments our time.”