Do not get down on your self when you’ve got a behavior of obsessing over crushes—Web page notes that we’re all inclined to it.
“Once we’re obsessive about anyone, they turn out to be the supply of our value and our lovability, so it turns into vastly vital to us,” he explains, including, “They have one thing, whether or not it is magnificence, or intelligence, or confidence, that we really feel we do not have, so we have to get their approval, their love, and their curiosity.”
And normally, Web page tells mindbodygreen, we wind up right here due to our distinctive “myths of misplaced love,” that are the myths we stock from our earliest years, after we did not obtain love the way in which we felt we wanted to from dad and mom, caregivers, or the world.
Within the folks we obsess over, we’re in search of a option to show our value, to seek out that “misplaced love” we predict we do not have or by no means received, but it surely finally leaves us wanting, as a result of self value can solely be given to ourselves by ourselves.
And if it is any comfort, you possibly can, in a way, be “addicted,” or on the very least dependent, on an individual. In a single small 2010 examine, topics who had simply gone by a breakup however have been nonetheless in love confirmed simply how true that’s: Once they noticed photographs of their ex, the mind’s reward system launched dopamine, the neurotransmitter that performs an enormous function within the early phases of affection and habit.
All that to say, obsession is actual, however so is recovering from it.